Monday, January 31, 2011

Sick little man...

I hate it when my kids are sick. I hate everything that comes along with it. Fever, throw up, snotty faces. Jaxen woke up in the middle of the night a few nights ago. I changed his diaper and put him back to bed. In the morning I went to get him and he was white as a ghost. It was Ava's b-day and we were supposed to go into Lethbridge that day. I just forgot about it and we went about our day. On the way to Lethbridge he threw up all over the car/car seat. SICK!!! Throw up in the car seat is the worst, there is so many spots for it to go and it sinks. We got to Kyles parents and tossed him in the tub and cleansed his car seat the best we could. When we got home later that night he went straight to bed. Sunday he layed on the floor all day and didn't move. His temp got up to 38.5 so we kept up with the tylenol and advil. I guess if you alternate between the both of them it works better. Monday he still had a high fever so I thought a trip to the doctors office was due. It turns out he has some sort of throat/ear infection. We got some antibiotics so hopefully it will start working soon.

Happy Birthday little Miss Ava

My little girl turned 4 this past Saturday. I cannot believe it, it breaks my heart. She is growing up so fast and is such a joy. She has so much energy and I can't keep up. We had a family get together on Friday night with my family. We had some dinner and some yummy cake. Later on we opened some presents and did some visiting. On Saturday we went over to Kyle's parents. Ava and her cousin celebrated their bdays together this year. Kloe turns 5 in Feb, such a cute little girl. Ava had lots of fun! She thought she was pretty special to have two birthday parties.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Parent Preschool Meltdown

I am not going to lie, I am sitting here bawling as I write this. I had a horrible experience this afternoon. I joined Parent Preschool and was a little apprehensive to start with. I was nervous Ava would not listen and Jaxen would be a freak show. Ava had no problems and listened very well. Jaxen was a different story. He acted exactly the way I knew he would. He was fine during play time didn't even fuss once. Then clean up time came along. The screaming and kicking started. I helped him put the toys away while he cried the whole time. Then we moved to circle time, no success. I am not exaggerating here, he SCREAMED and BAWLED. So embarrassing! I was actually doing really well at holding it together, I wasn't even getting mad. A nice lady was trying to reassure me that it's normal and that it will be okay. Then Mary-Rose came along and was trying to talk to Jaxen. She tried to give him some snacks and help me as well. All along Jaxen is still freaking out. He wanted those damn trains and cars so badly. I couldn't put him down because I know the standards that they have for the kids. They have to learn to sit and listen during circle time. I know that it's hard for small children but I have never seen one act like mine. Mary-Rose was so kind and I am so grateful. She never made me feel bad, not once. I was doing pretty good at holding myself together. Then a door opened up. "Excuse me, could you get rid of him? I am trying to teach a class and he is a huge distraction." That was the last straw. My eyes teared up and I was holding it back. Mary-Rose asked me a question and I lost it. I started crying and could not stop. The only reason that I was staying is because of Ava. She loves it there, how could I deprive her. I was embarrassed that I was crying and couldn't stop. I was horrified that MY child was so unruly. I wanted to be mad at Jaxen but I was so mad at that lady for hurting my feelings. I felt bad for him that somebody was annoyed by him. His mine and I love him. Although I do know that he will not be going back there for a long time. This mothering business makes me feel like I am a failure. I hate not being in control and not being able to stop it. Some days I think that I can do this but days like today I want to throw in the towel. I see all the other moms with their children sitting perfectly in their laps. Then there's me bawling in the background trying to keep myself composed. I am still crying and I honestly don't know why. It truly wasn't a big deal, I am lying it was. The bottom line is that I was embarrassed and there was nothing I could do. I did end up leaving the class. They let Ava stay and someone was so kind to give her a ride home. This is just a bad mom moment and it will pass. In the mean time I am going to go finish crying in my bed.