Halloween!!!!

Halloween has come and gone yet again. This year was a good one and I can't wait for next. I take vacation at work for Halloween, I enjoy going with the kids. This year we didn't spend any money on costumes which made me very happy. Jaxen's was from last year, it was too big. Kyle and Ava's was also from last year which they didn't wear. Mine of course was just my work clothes. I think I only spent $20.00 on candy too, I am cheap and I love it. Once we got all dressed up we went out to my Aunt and Uncles on the farm, the kids love it out there. Then we headed to Great Grandma Wendorff's, she didn't even recognize us at the door. Then off to Grandma and Grandpa Wendorff's where they had Jaxen and Ava's favorite candy waiting for them. After that we headed back to our house to go around our block. The whole time we were gone, I was stressed we had been away from our house too long and someone was going to egg us. We got back to our house around 7:30 and only about 10-20 kids stopped by. Our end of the neighborhood was quite dead actually. All in all it was a great Halloween and I am sad it is over. Here's to next year!

Foo Fighters

Back in 2005 I was lucky enough to see the Foo Fighters in Calgary with some friends. When I met Kyle and let him in on this info, he was a tad bit jealous to say the least. Kyle LOVES the Foo Fighters and has been listening to them since 1995. He figured he would be lucky enough to see them one day but it took 16 years. I joined ticketmaster and get a heads up if one of my favorite bands is coming. I also joined the Foo Fighters fan page on facebook and that's how I actually found out they were coming. I was so excited for Kyle and also for myself. I wanted to do the whole surprise thing but it didn't turn out that way. I ended up telling him they were coming and we went ahead and bought the tickets. When we found out we were going in October, Kyle decided he was going to grow his hair out for the concert. We bought the tickets back in May, so he grew his hair out for 5 months. When October 27th came I couldn't hold in the excitement, either could Kyle. We got a hotel for the night while my parents watched the kids. It really is nice to get away for just a night. When we got to the Saddledome, there were so many people. We didn't get the best seats but they were alright. It was so fun to see how excited Kyle was, he has been waiting for this forever. I am so happy that I got to be there with Kyle and experience this with him. I love seeing him so happy.

Jaxen's surgery

The morning started at 5:00am on July 19, 2011. That is early, I mean ridiculously early. I do not get up at that time but I knew I had to so I got over it pretty quickly. Jaxen had to get a little man surgery. Jaxen was circumcised when he was a baby and everything seemed to be fine. When Jaxen turned two he started to have some troubles. I won't go into detail but it needed to be fixed. We got to the hospital around 6:15am and I went to check him in. Nobody was at the info desk and a sign on the desk told me to go to Emerg admitting. I did just that. I asked a nurse where admitting was and he directed me to the correct area. I sat down and a grouchy old man didn't even look at me and told me I was in the wrong place. When people are rude I don't even give them a chance. I don't think, I just talk. It's a flaw of mine. Anyways, I was just as rude and Kyle told me I need to calm down or nobody is going to help me. We eventually found our way and we went up to 5C pediatrics. We entered peds day surgery, it was a small little room with lots of chairs, stretchers and cribs. Our nurse Shelly showed us where Jaxen would be staying for the day. He got a cute little metal crib, he didn't think the same. He was doing pretty good until we had to change him into a gown. He flipped out completely. He wouldn't calm down and I just stuffed his little arms in that gown trying to hold him down. That sounds awful. The nurse brought out some toys and he chilled a little. Then the weighing part came. We tried standing him, sitting him but I ended up having to weigh myself then with him. The nurse was finally finished with the pre-op and we could play. The porter came a short time later to take us to the OR. The walk seemed long and Jaxen looked terrified. When we got in to the pre-op hold there was a little wagon for Jaxen to play in. The anesthesiologist came to talk to us and asked some questions. He then told us that he was going to put in an epidural. I was a tad bit hesitant, it scared me. What if he got paralyzed, what if he got real bad headaches, what if...I got over it. I knew he would be in pain so I allowed it. A nurse came next to take Jaxen away. Jaxen hopped in the wagon and he was off, he didn't even cry. My heart sank and Kyle and I left the room. We went to get some breakfast and went out side for some fresh air. About an hour later we went back up to 5C to see if he had returned, he hadn't. We waited for about 45min and he pulled up in a stroller, how cute. He was a little tired and his legs were shaky. He sat on my lap for a good while and then he wanted to get out of there. He whined for a bit but finally sat on his bed and had some water and crackers. He seemed to be doing good but all of a sudden he started crying. He had just peed and it was burning. The nurse got him some Tylenol and that seemed to work for him. It was a long morning but it went a lot better then I was expecting it to go. He looks a little sore but it already looks a lot better today then it did yesterday. I am just frustrated about the whole situation. He should not have had to go through this in the first place. If it would have been done correctly the first time we would not be here today. I guess I will know better next time, if there is a next time.

Happy Birthday Hans

Kidney what???

It has been a LONG two weeks. It all started on May 17th. I have yearly check ups with Dr. Taylor, a urologist. I have had kidney stones in the past but it seemed to only happen when I was pregnant. I went to my appointment, already knowing what they would find. My left side has been hurting but I wanted to put off the inevitable. I had my x-ray and then went into a room waiting for Dr. Taylor. He came in and we discussed that I had kidney stones in my left side. He initially didn't want to do anything about it, wait until I was dying and then we will see. I wasn't crazy about that idea. I know the pain they cause and I wanted to avoid that at all cost. This was a Wednesday and he said if it is still bothering me on Friday call his office and they will set up a time for surgery that weekend. Well the days went by, the pain didn't stop. I called his office and guess what? They were closed, how convenient. I phoned the hospital and they told me to come through emergency. I did and I was all alone, not fun. They got me right in, started the IV and gave me pain medication. They phoned Dr. Taylor and he decided it would be best to get a CT scan to see the exact size. They also took a urine sample to see if there was any infection. Well lucky me, the stone was large and I also had blood in my urine. I was admitted and sent up to 3C. Guess who works there? ME!!! I was not a fan of being admitted to the floor I work on. I don't like people I know and work with taking care of me. It is embarrassing. I didn't end up going for surgery until Saturday. I left the unit around 9:30am. I was wheeled into the recovery room and I waited there for about a half an hour. I get nervous, I hate getting put under. The OR room is cold and scary, I hate it. Finally they rolled me into the OR room, they were very nice and put me at ease. They put the mask on my face and luckily the anesthetic didn't hurt going into my IV this time. I woke up in the recovery room needing to pee really bad. They put me on the lovely bed pan and out came pure blood. I was wheeled back to 3C and Dr. Taylor came in and told me my ureter was very constricted with lots of scar tissue. They had to cut away at the scar tissue and stretch out my ureter to get the kidney stone out. In the process of all this I got a tear somewhere so they have to keep the stent in for two weeks. AWESOME! Well needless to say, I was in a lot of pain, crying like a baby. It was awful having people I work with see me like this. I know how I am with some pt.'s, it can't be that bad right? Well it was and I hated calling for drugs. I stayed all Saturday and was getting Demerol all day and night. It was helping me and when Sunday morning came the drugs stopped. I believe that my nurse figured that my surgery wasn't too serious and why should I be needing all these drugs. Well, she came in told me we were going to try Torodol and Tylenol #3's and send me home. I knew deep down I wasn't ready to go but who am I to argue. I know this place is a get them in and out kind of place. Well, I got my prescriptions and was on my way home. I still felt like crap, more like death but whatever right? I went right to bed and didn't move. Kyle came to bed and I was in so much pain but didn't want to bother him. Around 7:00am I couldn't take it anymore, I started to hyperventilate and my face got stuck in an odd position and my hands got so contracted. Kyle woke up and called my dad to stay with the kids. He took me to the Raymond Hospital and they got me right in. The pain in my hands was almost overriding my kidney pain but not quite. They got me to breath into a paper bag but it wasn't helping. They finally had to give me Versade to relax my body, it worked wonders. My hands and face were back to normal. The doctor came in and assessed me and decided to admit me. This was early Monday morning and I didn't get discharged until Friday afternoon. I was basically in for pain management. I seriously thought I was going to die, it hurt so bad. It is now June 3rd and I am finally starting to feel normal minus this dang stent. It makes me feel like I have to pee every 10 minutes. I have an appointment to get it out June 7th so we will see how that goes. Here's to hoping...

Soccer!!!

My little Ava is all grown up. It took me awhile to decide if I should sign her up for soccer. I myself was never in soccer so I don't know what it's all about. Do you wear socks under the shin pads? I don't know these questions. I don't think you do but Ava sure complains a lot about the shin pads hurting her. I just tell her to suck it up, sports hurt sometimes. She really does love soccer, she gets so excited to get out on the field. They look so cute running after the balls. It amazes me how they can keep track of their own ball, they never lose it. She has two coaches and loves them both. The coaches set up little games for them in the beginning and for the last 15 minutes or so they get to play a game against a different team. I am glad I chose to put Ava in soccer and I am pretty sure she is happy too!

Jaxen's 2!!!

Jaxen turned two on March 11, 2011. I honestly made it as layed back as possible. I usually buy the kids cakes but this year I decided not to. I just didn't feel like paying $50.00 for a cute cake that doesn't taste very good. You wouldn't believe it but this cake I made got iced 3 times. I iced it the first time and ruined it with seran wrap. My dad iced it again and wasn't satisfied so he did it again. I think it looks cute and it tasted better than any $50.00 dollar cake. We had the usual family over and I made sloppy joes. It was my first time and I used the slow cooker, very yummy. I surprise myself sometimes. We opened gifts and Jaxen got spoiled. My mom and dad got Jaxen a mini quad and he is so terrified of it. The first time we turned it on Jaxen ran to my Grandpa Turner and crawled in his lap. He still won't go near it. It was a good time had by all. I can't believe my little baby is two. I love you Jaxen!!!

Through and Through

Jaxen is a little boy through and through. He loves anything to do with trucks, cars, boats, or quads. He also loves his Papa Max. Every time my dad comes to visit, Jaxen makes him play cars. This visit my dad was reading the Trader and Jaxen crawled on his lap to read with him. It was a good half hour or so and Jaxen was heartbroken when they were done. I am happy that Jaxen is so content playing with his cars, it gives me some time to do "mother/wife duties". Jaxen is growing up so fast. I was just thinking today, we don't need the baby gate, the high chair, baby food, no more baby items. It makes me sad but it also makes me so happy at the same time. I love the independence and the fact that we will be able to do so much more this summer. Jaxen does have a temper though. He gets so upset and can't calm down, it's hard sometimes. I can't even calm him myself, I have to leave him and sometimes send him to his room. There has been a few times when I have had to leave places because his is freaking out so badly. It's humiliating but I have gotten through the horrible stares and continued on with my day. It's hard wanting to go into a store to get a couple of things but leaving empty handed because of your child. I guess that's part of life and what am I going to do about it? I can't go through life pretending my child is perfect when clearly they are misbehaving. It's truly a learning experience for me. I have NO patience and it's something I struggle with. I have found myself finding some a little each day. Sometimes there is nothing you can do and yelling or getting mad will only make it worse. This mother business is definitely a lot harder than I thought it would be. How hard could it be to raise a human being? REALLY HARD. I do love my children and I would never change a thing. People ask me all the time. Are you going to have more? NO! Not now anyways.

Sick little man...

I hate it when my kids are sick. I hate everything that comes along with it. Fever, throw up, snotty faces. Jaxen woke up in the middle of the night a few nights ago. I changed his diaper and put him back to bed. In the morning I went to get him and he was white as a ghost. It was Ava's b-day and we were supposed to go into Lethbridge that day. I just forgot about it and we went about our day. On the way to Lethbridge he threw up all over the car/car seat. SICK!!! Throw up in the car seat is the worst, there is so many spots for it to go and it sinks. We got to Kyles parents and tossed him in the tub and cleansed his car seat the best we could. When we got home later that night he went straight to bed. Sunday he layed on the floor all day and didn't move. His temp got up to 38.5 so we kept up with the tylenol and advil. I guess if you alternate between the both of them it works better. Monday he still had a high fever so I thought a trip to the doctors office was due. It turns out he has some sort of throat/ear infection. We got some antibiotics so hopefully it will start working soon.

Happy Birthday little Miss Ava

My little girl turned 4 this past Saturday. I cannot believe it, it breaks my heart. She is growing up so fast and is such a joy. She has so much energy and I can't keep up. We had a family get together on Friday night with my family. We had some dinner and some yummy cake. Later on we opened some presents and did some visiting. On Saturday we went over to Kyle's parents. Ava and her cousin celebrated their bdays together this year. Kloe turns 5 in Feb, such a cute little girl. Ava had lots of fun! She thought she was pretty special to have two birthday parties.

Parent Preschool Meltdown

I am not going to lie, I am sitting here bawling as I write this. I had a horrible experience this afternoon. I joined Parent Preschool and was a little apprehensive to start with. I was nervous Ava would not listen and Jaxen would be a freak show. Ava had no problems and listened very well. Jaxen was a different story. He acted exactly the way I knew he would. He was fine during play time didn't even fuss once. Then clean up time came along. The screaming and kicking started. I helped him put the toys away while he cried the whole time. Then we moved to circle time, no success. I am not exaggerating here, he SCREAMED and BAWLED. So embarrassing! I was actually doing really well at holding it together, I wasn't even getting mad. A nice lady was trying to reassure me that it's normal and that it will be okay. Then Mary-Rose came along and was trying to talk to Jaxen. She tried to give him some snacks and help me as well. All along Jaxen is still freaking out. He wanted those damn trains and cars so badly. I couldn't put him down because I know the standards that they have for the kids. They have to learn to sit and listen during circle time. I know that it's hard for small children but I have never seen one act like mine. Mary-Rose was so kind and I am so grateful. She never made me feel bad, not once. I was doing pretty good at holding myself together. Then a door opened up. "Excuse me, could you get rid of him? I am trying to teach a class and he is a huge distraction." That was the last straw. My eyes teared up and I was holding it back. Mary-Rose asked me a question and I lost it. I started crying and could not stop. The only reason that I was staying is because of Ava. She loves it there, how could I deprive her. I was embarrassed that I was crying and couldn't stop. I was horrified that MY child was so unruly. I wanted to be mad at Jaxen but I was so mad at that lady for hurting my feelings. I felt bad for him that somebody was annoyed by him. His mine and I love him. Although I do know that he will not be going back there for a long time. This mothering business makes me feel like I am a failure. I hate not being in control and not being able to stop it. Some days I think that I can do this but days like today I want to throw in the towel. I see all the other moms with their children sitting perfectly in their laps. Then there's me bawling in the background trying to keep myself composed. I am still crying and I honestly don't know why. It truly wasn't a big deal, I am lying it was. The bottom line is that I was embarrassed and there was nothing I could do. I did end up leaving the class. They let Ava stay and someone was so kind to give her a ride home. This is just a bad mom moment and it will pass. In the mean time I am going to go finish crying in my bed.