Thursday, January 20, 2011
Parent Preschool Meltdown
I am not going to lie, I am sitting here bawling as I write this. I had a horrible experience this afternoon. I joined Parent Preschool and was a little apprehensive to start with. I was nervous Ava would not listen and Jaxen would be a freak show. Ava had no problems and listened very well. Jaxen was a different story. He acted exactly the way I knew he would. He was fine during play time didn't even fuss once. Then clean up time came along. The screaming and kicking started. I helped him put the toys away while he cried the whole time. Then we moved to circle time, no success. I am not exaggerating here, he SCREAMED and BAWLED. So embarrassing! I was actually doing really well at holding it together, I wasn't even getting mad. A nice lady was trying to reassure me that it's normal and that it will be okay. Then Mary-Rose came along and was trying to talk to Jaxen. She tried to give him some snacks and help me as well. All along Jaxen is still freaking out. He wanted those damn trains and cars so badly. I couldn't put him down because I know the standards that they have for the kids. They have to learn to sit and listen during circle time. I know that it's hard for small children but I have never seen one act like mine. Mary-Rose was so kind and I am so grateful. She never made me feel bad, not once. I was doing pretty good at holding myself together. Then a door opened up. "Excuse me, could you get rid of him? I am trying to teach a class and he is a huge distraction." That was the last straw. My eyes teared up and I was holding it back. Mary-Rose asked me a question and I lost it. I started crying and could not stop. The only reason that I was staying is because of Ava. She loves it there, how could I deprive her. I was embarrassed that I was crying and couldn't stop. I was horrified that MY child was so unruly. I wanted to be mad at Jaxen but I was so mad at that lady for hurting my feelings. I felt bad for him that somebody was annoyed by him. His mine and I love him. Although I do know that he will not be going back there for a long time. This mothering business makes me feel like I am a failure. I hate not being in control and not being able to stop it. Some days I think that I can do this but days like today I want to throw in the towel. I see all the other moms with their children sitting perfectly in their laps. Then there's me bawling in the background trying to keep myself composed. I am still crying and I honestly don't know why. It truly wasn't a big deal, I am lying it was. The bottom line is that I was embarrassed and there was nothing I could do. I did end up leaving the class. They let Ava stay and someone was so kind to give her a ride home. This is just a bad mom moment and it will pass. In the mean time I am going to go finish crying in my bed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Carly I'm sure all mom's have meltdowns and moments when things feel out of control. For positive! Anyone who reads this entry will be like, "Yup!" Kids are things we can't control, emotions are things that are difficult and sometimes impossible to control. Gotta love it hey? All those things thrown in together!
ReplyDeleteOh Karli, I feel for you! I've had days like that. Take it easy and know that we've all been there before!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I don't like mean people! Don't let this experience keep you from going, it will get better!
I doubt there is a mom out there who hasn't had many "throw in the towel" days. I definitely have had those! No mom is perfect either, that's forsure! ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had such a crappy day, I probably would have cried too! It's so frustrating when you feel like there is nothing you can do to control your kid, and it doesn't help when someone comes in a says something like that. So rude. what a ho.
I hope you have a relaxing evening with a huge bubble bath! Tomorrow is another day and hopefully better than today, that's what I tell myself all the time on bad days. :)
Hi, I know you don't know me, but I found your blog through my mutual friends, and after reading your post I couldn't help but feel for you. I wanted to tell you that I have had many days where my children have had huge uncontrollable melt downs, totally and completely embarrassing me. To make it even worse my husband could never deal with it well, so he would react just like a kid, and turn it into a public scene. It was humiliating. I was alot like you, trying to hold it together, be loving, and make the right responses. Still no good answer. Until I realized that I had a strong willed child. Have you ever considered if Jaxon might be strong willed? In this particular scenario, it just sounded like he may be. Because stronge willed children have a very difficult time coping with change from trains to circle time, unless it was their idea. Ask Mary Rose about it, she knows a lot about Strong willed children. The parent link center even puts on a course occasionally for it, and there is a good book out on it too. I am not saying I know anything about your son, I dont. But I can tell you are a good loving mom, don't worry, I'm sure every mother in that room's heart went out to you. They know what its like.(And I hope I didn't offend you by commenting on you blog.)
ReplyDeleteKarli you know how I feel about insensitive people who don't think before they speak. You should have seen the huge meltdown that Nate (yes Nate, my 6 yr old) had at church on Sunday! Ryan stayed home because McKenna had a cold. Nate's teacher's weren't there when we got into the primary room and he wouldn't go to his class. I told him I had to go teach my class and tried to make him stay and he just started freaking out and crying and clinging to me. The leaders were trying to help and take him but he wouldn't have it. So I tried taking him to my class with me and he wouldn't go in and kept freaking out. My class sat for 15 minutes by themselves because I had to deal with him. I had to end up calling Ryan to come and get him. I was so embarrassed and so livid with Nate. So yes, all Mother's can totally relate to this. Don't let it scare you into not going anymore. It will be a really good thing for Jaxen. You could maybe practice the transition with him at home and even if he could hold one car or something during circle time until he can get use to it. And just be prepared for a meltdown. If he has one, just tell him if he acts like that he can't stay and play, and take him home. I'm sure after awhile he'll catch on. I can't even tell you how many times I've bawled in my room because I feel like I'm failing at this whole Motherhood thing. Love you! and hope your feeling better about it today!
ReplyDeleteoh Karli you are a wonderful mother!! and please i feel like a failure ALL. THE. TIME!! motherhood is rough, then u throw in the emotions and lack of sleep and frustration its a bomb waiting to go off. we have all had days like this, I had one yesterday in fact! hope you have a better one tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteKarli!!! i totally did not know about this!!! I saw that your name is on the list for our class, I hadn't been there at all until last week, so I thought that you just hadn't been there the days that I was! YOU SOOOOOO NEED to come back!!!!! The mom's class today was SOOOOOO good! Can't they just let you and Jaxon do your own thing until he warms up to it? Maybe you could just stay and read or play with just a couple toys until circle time is over and then come in with him to the mom's class! and oh my gosh Karli, we have all so been there, some of us just won't talk about it, we are so embarrassed! PLEASE come back! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLuv ya!